Its all in the definition…
The A-to-Z Meme that has been making the rounds had me thinking the other day. Just about everyone who is in a serious relationship listed their significant other as their best friend. For me, husband and best friend are two distinct roles and I have never considered Steve my best friend.
Don’t get me wrong, Steve is the person I’m spending the rest of my life with and the father of the only children I will ever have. I adore the guy and am very blessed that he agreed to spend the rest of his life with me. That is not something to sneeze at, I don’t really want to spend eternity with me, I pity the man a little.
That said, he’s not my best friend.
For me, a best friend is someone who brings something to the table that your significant other doesn’t. I don’t believe that one person can be everything that I need. To be honest, I think that its unfair for anyone to expect one person to be everything that they need. My girlfriends give me things that Steve doesn’t, nor does he even want to.
For example: as much fun as it is to watch whatever is the hit show on TV with Steve, its a helluva lot more fun with Michelle. Michelle and I sit down to a show, or even a movie, and have a running commentary through the whole thing. We love it and Steve hates it (so does my sister!).
And no matter how many times I present to Steve a finished scrapbook or crafting piece and receive “It looks nice” it just doesn’t compare to praise I get when I show it to Fearthainn or Michelle or Mom or Grandma. With the woman in my life I can just sit back and enjoy the praise they so gracefully ooze. I love it, and Steve is not a man who oozes. He appreciates all that I do for him, but the guy simply doesn’t ooze.
He seldom has uncontrollable giggle fits like Fearthainn and I do. He doesn’t like to walk into Wal-Mart when the sun is shining and walk out when its dark like Michelle and I do. There is no way in hell he would have got in the car at 1 am to go to Wal-Mart over Christmas just because it was open 24 hours, just for the story. He doesn’t get massages or do the “spa”. Ever. He doesn’t watch Gray’s Anatomy like its a religion (although when I have a meeting, he will watch it and take mental notes because he is well aware that I will drill him when I get home. I should really learn how to program the damn VCR). He wouldn’t talk on the phone for an hour about the highs and lows of raising kids like Ange and I have been known to do. He finds no joy in making little fridge magnets.
This is where your best friends come in.
I suspect he feels the same way. Getting up at 6 am on Wednesday mornings to go wakeboarding with me? I doubt that would be nearly as much as it is to go wakeboarding with the guys. Especially since I can’t wakeboard. And I’m a bitch at 6 am.
He’s the main person in my life, no doubt about it, and I tell him just about everything whether he cares to hear it or not, but my best friends are incredibly important to me and I feel blessed to have people in my life that I can call best friends and favorite friends and good friends and old friends.
3 Responses to “Its all in the definition…”
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I loved that post. And not just because it mentioned me several times(in flattering light)….ok well that didn’t hurt. It’s been a while since you’ve had a good rant. I love it!
And I agree you have different friends for different reasons. There is no one I can watch TV with the way you and I do, or shop wally world with. Nor is there anyone else I would rather do it with. By the way I am going to do my A-Z i just have to reconsruct my blog. Takes time that I don’t seem to have right now.
Give my Babe a kiss!
Cheesy, but good.
You *are* blessed! Not all of us have rich, rewarding friendships outside of our marriage. I have several that fit the bill, but they all live thousands and thousands of miles away. So… I can’t hang out, watch tv, go shopping, etc. I think that’s probably why you’ll see a lot of people calling their S.O. their best friend. In my case, Brian is and does everything. But he’s a little different than most guys. And I’m a little different than most girls. So 99.9% of the things we do, we do together. Even tv. I think I have ONE show he doesn’t watch, and he has one that I don’t watch. Other than that, we’re like spooky little clones of each other. Hee!