Earth Day

Earth day came and went, and I did nothing to honour it. Does that make me a bad environmentalist? I even went to the grocery store and forgot my canvas bags. ON EARTH DAY. I felt tremendous guilt.
I’m also trying to convince my husband to have more children. I’ve officially fallen off my hybrid wagon. At least I went outside and played.
I desperately want to post something intelligent, anything at all that doesn’t talk about my kids, or my boobs, but I’ve got nothing. I am still trying to get some volunteer work done, working on some craft ideas, and attempting to talk my husband into making some cute childrens furniture but nothing is yet blog-worthy.
Speaking of my boobs (what? I mentioned them in the above paragraph) the drugs aren’t working, Claire-bear still hasn’t gained weight, and I swear to God I’m developing thrush. Again. On the plus side, she hasn’t lost weight either, so we’re holding steady I guess. And I’m taking considerably fewer pain killers so I’m either getting tougher, or am in less pain from this breastfeeding business.
Hey, Steve just told me that Quebec City is 400 years old this year. That’s cool.

My First Day!

My first day alone with the kids wasn’t so bad. Not so bad at all.
Of course, neither was I alone. Two girlfriends came over with pastries and cinnamon buns and fresh baked bread, and even beef stew (I had forgotten to mention to Miss Laura that we don’t eat meat , but the thought was very, very much appreciated and I hope she eats it tonight since she is technically on bedrest until her baby girl arrives in the next couple of weeks!).
One of my midwives also dropped by, and sadly Miss Claire has only gained an ounce since the last visit . However, she’s gaining and is all pink and content and doesn’t have any signs of a hungry baby so we’ll see if the milk drugs kick in and if the fat starts to pile on her in the next day or two. At least she isn’t being considered “failure to thrive”. Yet, anyway.
And that is really all I’ve got right now. One of these days I’ll blog about something other than my kids. I promise.

An Update

Still breastfeeding. Still hating it but pretending I don’t hate it because I know it gets better once we get past this hurdle. I did cave and get the drugs, though, which is surprising since I am generally very anti-drug. Since I’m already taking the maximum advil and tylenol, why not add another drug to the mix! Drugs! Awesome!
Besides, if parenting has taught me anything, its taught me that I’m a huge hyprocrit. And I’m ok with that.
So far, my milk production seems the same but I’m holding out hope that by tomorrow something miraculous will happen and I won’t be breastfeeding every hour and a half, but rather, every three hours just like the books say should happen. It annoys me that the books say it is so, but it is not so. I want it to be so.
Babies cry more than I remember. Or maybe Callum didn’t cry as much as Claire. Or maybe I was just so tired I don’t remember. I did manage to do two loads of laundry today and clean my bathroom and am ridiculously proud. Claire cried the entire time both tasks were happening, but honestly, she cried most of the day unless she was physically attached to my body, so I don’t feel guilty. She cried through breakfast, lunch and dinner and my shower, too.
All creatures are currently sleeping, and as this post is a little nonsensical, I think I should go to sleep too.
Did I mention the two feet of snow that was on the ground this morning? Seriously! Two feet! In April! Crazy!

Happy Birthday

Yesterday was the anniversary of the end of Claire’s first week so in celebration, we baked a cake! Ok, I was just looking for an excuse to bake a cake, but hey! Chocolate cake!
We’re still getting into a groove. Only two more days until Auntie goes home, and then two more after that before Steve goes back to work. I’m scared.

Monkey Brain and an entire topic about boobs, but you’re going to be disappointed.

During our Birthing from Within classes we talked about our “monkey brian”. That part of our brain that never stops talking and can make a crappy situation even worse by talking about all the shit that annoys us. Like you’re sitting in a really bad movie and your monkey brain is going on about what a crappy movie this is, and how the person in front of you breathes really loud and how your back hurts and you totally wish you were at home but this movie is still on and my god when will it end?
And then your movie-going buddy thinks its the best movie of all time.
I keep having to tell my monkey brain to fuck off when it comes to breastfeeding. Why God made it so bloody hard is a complete mystery to me. Honestly, if I was picking cotton in a field or walking across the western US during the pioneer days, I would have died. Or my baby would have because honestly? I do not have what it takes. Its one thing in the comfort of my home, with a plethera of pain medication at my fingertips, quite another if I actually had a hard life.
And why it seems so effortless to other people also annoys me. Those woman need a smack, or at the very least, they should be ugly. It’s only fair.
It’s getting better, I think, even though Miss Claire has thrown up blood and breast tissue twice and we’re still waiting around for the golden poop and anyone with a baby completely understands that sentence. Its all about poop, and pee and your breasts get an awful lot of conversation time. You try not to talk about them, you really do, but you sort of can’t help it because its this all consuming task centered around your breasts.
I used to really enjoy my breasts. I would have pegged these sweeties as one of my best features (really, I would have, a little cleavage gets me a lot of leeway with my husband) but right now, I sort of want to surgical remove them from my body.
For my friends on the verge of entering into this maternal world of bonding and bliss – get someone to show you how to do the strait-jacket swaddle. This is a miracle swaddle and one I wish I had known about with Sir Callum. It could be the difference between tossing the baby across the room or not*.
On the plus side, the little gas smiles we’re getting are heaven. And Callum now shakes your hand “hello” and gives out high-fives. Ridiculously cute.
*And no, I would never toss the baby. I just like to say I’ll toss the baby. It makes me feel better.