The Fourth Week

In my vast experience with childcare and newborns, I’ve concluded that the hardest week to get through when you have a new baby is Week 4.
The first couple of weeks you have people dropping off food, visiting to help around the house, phoning to see if you need anything and just generally babying you and your baby.
Then some time between week 3 and week 4 everyone thinks its life as usual. It’s starting to become expected of you to have a clean house, to start picking up what you did pre-baby in terms of chores, even do some work outside your cosy home (ask my volunteer group!) and just generally be “back to normal”.
Yet this early in the game there is still no schedule, you’re still feeding on demand, and you’re only getting a total of 1.5 – 4 hours a sleep at any given time, if you’re lucky.
This week Callum has suddenly made his displeasure at not being the centre of attention known with wisely placed full-out tantrums. They are few and far between, but that doesn’t make them any less dramatic, or hard on the ears. And we all have runny noses and sore throats (Claire too, poor baby!) so that just makes us all happy and chipper.
Steve spent last night sleeping in the trailer because when I get up to feed he “wakes up”. I don’t feel sorry for him at all, his “waking up” is nothing to the hour or more I am fully awake dealing with a newborn, and he probably wouldn’t wake up at all if he had dealt with those items I had asked him to deal with pre-birth because the rocker would be beside the cradle and I wouldn’t be feeding in our bed. But I’m also not opposed to him sleeping in the trailer, either. A tired Steve is an unpleasant Steve. On the flip side, though, being the only care-giver IN the house to all the creatures and children all night is a bit stressful. Of course, most nights the only one who needs attention is Claire, but there is still those moments when the dog, or Callum, is up in the middle of the night and I’m not entirely sure what I will do about it when it happens – maybe yell out the window? Don’t get the wrong impression, Steve will willing deal with the situation, to give the man his credit, he’s been amazing all round with the chores and the kids and totally deserves a good night’s sleep, its the making him aware of the situation that I worry about.
This is also the time when you start to think your pre-baby body should be back, and at least for me, it isn’t, and that’s depressing. I’m really close to my pre-pregnancy weight but my body? No where near being back to normal. It makes me want to go to the gym, or at least do some of my at-home dvds except of course, my TV is on the floor and the dvd player in a pile of crap in the garage and not hooked up to said TV. Even if it was I don’t have a unit to place it on so it, too, would be on the floor becoming a new toy for my son.
So I’m going on strike. I’m not going to do any of the chores that are quietly and sneakily making their way back onto my list. Vacuum? Vacuum what? Grocery shop? ARE YOU MAD? The bathroom is disgusting? huh. You need what for the webpage? That’s nice, I’m a volunteer and I’ll get to it when I get to it and that will likely be July.
I will, however, make muffins and banana bread and experiment with the no-knead bread dough again. And I’ll happily go to the beach.
Its all about priorities.
This weekend is all about tackling the “annoying” list (like no dvd player, or rocker next to the cradle) so I won’t just be lazying around expecting to be waited on hand and foot. I did put in a demand today that I want a NICE mother’s day present this year with a lot of thought put into it. And I mean NICE. Jewelery or a spa-day or something equally amazing and all about me.

6 Responses to “The Fourth Week”

1. Cindy says:

   May 2, 2008 at 2:41 pm

   We have an army of robots to help with the house work – they are all needed because of two very big, hairy, and dirty dogs. We have 2 roombas to help with vacuuming and a scooba to wash the floor and a spotbot to spot clean dirty messes left by the dogs. We love these robots and they provide lot of entertainment. You should ask for a roomba or scooba for mother’s day.
2. Amber says:

   May 2, 2008 at 6:35 pm

   That is a super idea, but kinda out of our price range . I totally want a scooba now, though!
3. Angela says:

   May 2, 2008 at 7:47 pm

   I’m sorry your having a bit of a tough time, hang in there and it will get better and your life will return to a new normal in say 8 months or so. And in about 6 more weeks you should start feeling somewhat human again.
   As for the baby body give yourself a break. My daughter is nearly 2 and the boys nearly 4 and I am finally back to my prepreg weight and not too far from the size. However your boobs will never be the same again and the sag or “twin skin” as some of us call it will not go away. Get some spanx to suck it in and well get to the gym whenever. It may be in 2010 but what the hell as long as you get there.
   Chores well my bathroom looks like it needs to be condemed on most days even if I just cleaned it and my floors are usually equally disgusting. So welcome to the club and don’t worry about that either. Andrew acutally just said the other day “I know you mopped the floor today because all the marks are in different spots”
   Rememeber you have 2 kids under 2well 2 kids under 1 really so screw the chores, enjoy the beach, and yes all of us better get some incredibly amazing mothers day gifts because we all deserve them.
4. Amber says:

   May 2, 2008 at 8:28 pm

   The floor is something else, eh? Its incredible to me how disgusting my floor can get in an hour. An hour! I can literally see it get dirty before my eyes moments after I washed it.
   Now I just turn on the Swiffer and let Callum have at ‘er. Catches some dog hair and he has fun. If only we could harness this do-goodness in little kids and incorporate it back into them when they are actually old enough to be useful but also old enough to know better.
5. Michelle says:

   May 3, 2008 at 5:42 pm

   You should get Callum a swiffer sleeper:)
6. tarrah says:

   May 5, 2008 at 3:44 pm

   oh the floors. I’m with you all on the floors.