Here it is, midnight, and I’m still awake. I’m bitter. I had about 3 hours of sleep last night and I’m sitting here working on website transfering for my volunteer group. I am no where near done, I am not even near a comfortable ‘done enough’ place.
Although I believe in what the group I volunteer does, I am becoming increasingly disillusioned. Disillusioned? I think that is the word I want. The typical funk you find yourself in when you realize that the same crap that weighs down the everyday, weighs down everything, and it’s always so disappointing, even for a realist like myself.
I got involved when I was pregnant because initially I was planting trees along the river and the like, but as I got to be too pregnant, a colleague suggested I join this board. It was a pretty good fit, I still got to volunteer but this particular position was more suited to the stay-at-home Mom. Plus I have a great deal of respect for this colleague, and still do. In fact, she is the reason I am still an active volunteer. I wish I had her dedication and passion.
Now, though, I’m tired. I’m tired and I really hate that it’s been almost a year and this project that I have been spear-heading is still sitting on my “to-do” list. This, and another large project. This is certainly not my fault, I had a baby and that significant event alone makes a year magically disappear.
oh, and I went back to work.
So, I’m tired. I am giving some serious thought to going back and planting trees, counting fish, and playing outside with my kids. That is more in-line with my values than maintaining websites.
There is no point to this post. I’m going to bed now.

What’s in a Name

I’ve been looking for blank wooden letters for Claire’s door since before she was born. I wasn’t willing to pay $4 or $5 a letter when you can get decent wood letters at the dollar store, but the letters in Claire’s name are popular indeed and never available. Since her birth, and move into the nursery, Callum’s name was on the door. Not that long ago Steve gently suggested that maybe it was time to, at the very least, put Callum’s name on his own door.
I procrastinated a little longer, of course. Then for Christmas Steve gave me the book Green Crafts for Children, and on the very first page is a project where you make letters for your door with salt dough.

And just like that, everything comes together, because you know, door labels are of the utmost importance. Still, procratination sometimes serves you well! (Right Chrispy?! )
I’ve made salt dough many, many times before but it never occured to me to make a name plate. I have no idea why. So, voila, Claire’s door appropriately labeled.

I picked a font that I liked, printed it and then traced it over the dough. Once it was baked I sanded the edges (with a nail file because I was far, far too lazy to walk out to the shop and get sand-paper) and painted it with craft paint. I’m mighty pleased with the result. Of course, less than 2 minutes after I took the first picture, I broke the “C”. The “C” on the door is the replacement, and it’s a little off but not too noticably. I didn’t use the standard colors when I painted it, I mixed my own, and couldn’t re-mix the exact shades. This is what I do, welcome to my life.
The little froggie was a clip-art that I printed, traced, and painted so I certainly can’t take credit for him, but he sure is cute.
Now the rotten’s are sleeping exactly where their names say they should. heh.

The Sleep Chronicles : The One Where Steve is a Hero

Without a doubt, getting Claire to sleep has been one of the biggest issues I’ve struggled with since her birth. It even bumps out breastfeeding from the top spot. I can’t say that she’s a terrible sleeper because she’s been sleeping through the night since November, and before that had a predictable night-time sleep pattern.
No, once she’s asleep she’s an angel.
It’s getting her to sleep that has been the nightmare. Getting her to sleep was a production every single time, and because of this drama, naps were almost non-existent. Adding up the amount of sleep she was getting in a 24 hour period always made me feel like an utter failure. I knew she was not getting anywhere near enough sleep and it was more than a little frustrating for me, especially considering how easy it was to establish a routine with Callum. The inability to get her to nap was the one perk about going back to work, at least on the days I work it became Mom’s problem.
I had tried everything, or so I thought. I had moved up the bedtime, I had nursed her in her room in the dark, I had rocked her and walked her and sang her lullabyes. I had left her in her crib to scream. I had stood over her crib and soothed her. I had sat beside her crib and just stared at the wall while she reached through the crib for me, screaming. All of this was to no avail because the minute I tried to put her down, or leave, she’d just start all over again. She had to be completely drained and exhausted before she would finally, finally fall asleep. This was often close to 10 pm, or even later. At naptime I would often give up. Claire isn’t my only child, I couldn’t spend hours trying to get her to sleep and still watch, feed and play with Callum.
Enter Steve.
Steve bought Callum a cd player for his first Christmas, so he did the same for Claire this year, while I picked up a couple of generic lullabye cds for her stocking. When Steve puts Callum to bed he will often put on a cd before leaving the room. This is not something I do at all. I actually think that music interrupts sleep and instead will turn on Callum’s mobile since it only lasts about 1 minutes and stops.
Claire doesn’t have a mobile, and the two crib accessories she does have I don’t like because they have lights. When you turn them on, she perks right up and thinks it’s playtime.
The other day Steve came down after being forced to deal with Claire and mentioned that he had turned on the cd and it really seemed to help. I mentioned this to my Mom who said that singing is what she does to calm Claire down, too, and she felt that the music would keep her company and help her sleep. I knew that singing to her calmed her down. Singing to ANY baby tends to calm them down, but I really wasn’t convinced that leaving a cd player on in the room of a very light sleeper was a good approach.
Well, I was wrong. Very, very, very wrong.
On Thursday Claire had 2 naps, that were two hours. TWO, TWO HOUR NAPS. And she went to sleep with little fanfare. There was still rocking, but I could put her down, she woke up, then went straight back to sleep. Just like that.
Maybe it was the music? Or maybe it was fact that her Uncle Raj was here and she was just showing off?
Actually, I’ve put her down for every nap, and every bedtime since the beginning of the week with little fanfare. Today’s afternoon nap has been the only glitch so far, and that? That is something I can deal with and keep my sanity.
I think it’s actually more than just the music, though. I think it has been a combination of things that all came together, including putting her to sleep on her stomach, putting her down on this super soft blanket my Grandma bought her, and then throwing this super soft blanket my friend Cindy made her for Christmas on top. I think the coziness of the blankets soothes her. These blankets are ultra-soft.
And I think we have to give some credit to time. I think Claire’s come into her own sleep-wise. Callum’s time was just different, and sooner. Sometimes I forget that they are individual people with different needs and differt personalities and even though the experts say one thing or another, the ultimate decision comes down to this little creature. This little creature who really doesn’t care how I feel about it or what I think should happen.

Of course, that’ll change when I beat it into her that I’m the boss.

Crafting for the Environment!

It may not have been a hand-made Chrismtas, but I didn’t go the entire season without making something. That would be crazy!
Inspired by Miss Cindy’s lovely bags that she wrapped the kids presents in, and the few I already have in my collection from several friends, I decided to make myself a pile of cloth christmas wrapping bags. I will not lie, making these bags really stretched my limits at sewing. I will not even tell you how long it took me to figure out how to construct the draw-string portion. Entirely too long.

But. They are done, and reasonably well-sewn. I went all out and ironed before sewing a seam, which is not something that I would normally do. Ironing is for sissies! And people considerably less lazy than I am!

And keeping with my thriftiness, or laziness depending on how you look at it, I fashioned the rope for the draw string portion of these bags from my yarn stash. It is incredibly satisfying to crochet a really long chain. So satisfying that I made myself a garland out of leftover yarn. I’m wild like that.
It was a nice feeling to know that all the gifts under the tree from Steve and I were in a cloth bag that would be re-used for years to come. As I come across thrifted Christmas table cloths and the like in good condition, I plan to make more. Crocheting long chains really is that satisfying!
I will say that it’s going to take some getting used to opening the cloth bags. It loses something when your kids aren’t ripping open their gifts. In the end I’m sure this will be a good thing, but that wild abandon kids have tearing into Christmas isn’t the same when you’re struggling to untie a knot…

Happy New Year!

I enjoy it when regular calendar events make it so convenient to blog. What shall I talk about? Why, it’s the New Year! Let’s talk about that!
Hello 2009, please kick 2008’s ass. Thank you.
In other news, my daughter conveniently figured out how to get into a sitting position from the ground on her own on Christmas eve, and figured out this crawling business on New Year’s Day. I really appreciate her reaching these milestones on easily remembered days. All children should be so considerate (and Callum was, he rolled over St. Paddy’s Day). She’s not crawling all over the place just yet, but she did indeed crawl. My house will never be clean again, will it?
And in far, far more fascinating news, I organized my yarn tote. I knew you’d be giddy! It is still full of totally crap yarn, with a few skeins of lovliness. I am again on a mission to use up the crap yarn to make room for lovliness. Or I may just buy a bigger tote.
As I untangled a crap-load of crap yarn, I filled in the Knitting Journal Steve bought me for Christmas last year. Filling in the Knitting Journal inspired me to finally get into Ravelry.com and input my finished projects (well, some of them) and log my needles, yarn, etc. If you’re a knitter or a crocheter, you should join Ravelry and friend me. I only have two friends, and one of them is my sister who is obligated by blood to love me. And friend me on random internet sites. That is her cross to bear… besides, Ravelry is this awesomeness of free patterns and cool people and did I mention free patterns? People design stuff that rocks, and then they just share. Happily. How awesome is that? Pretty damn awesome, you know, for us knitters. Who are totally cool.
and so, I’m going to bed. Maybe I’ll feel inspired to write a thought provoking Welcome 2009 post tomorrow. But I wouldn’t bank on it.