Here it is, midnight, and I’m still awake. I’m bitter. I had about 3 hours of sleep last night and I’m sitting here working on website transfering for my volunteer group. I am no where near done, I am not even near a comfortable ‘done enough’ place.
Although I believe in what the group I volunteer does, I am becoming increasingly disillusioned. Disillusioned? I think that is the word I want. The typical funk you find yourself in when you realize that the same crap that weighs down the everyday, weighs down everything, and it’s always so disappointing, even for a realist like myself.
I got involved when I was pregnant because initially I was planting trees along the river and the like, but as I got to be too pregnant, a colleague suggested I join this board. It was a pretty good fit, I still got to volunteer but this particular position was more suited to the stay-at-home Mom. Plus I have a great deal of respect for this colleague, and still do. In fact, she is the reason I am still an active volunteer. I wish I had her dedication and passion.
Now, though, I’m tired. I’m tired and I really hate that it’s been almost a year and this project that I have been spear-heading is still sitting on my “to-do” list. This, and another large project. This is certainly not my fault, I had a baby and that significant event alone makes a year magically disappear.
oh, and I went back to work.
So, I’m tired. I am giving some serious thought to going back and planting trees, counting fish, and playing outside with my kids. That is more in-line with my values than maintaining websites.
There is no point to this post. I’m going to bed now.
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Alex always says if your not having fun then your better off not doing it. pretty good advice I’d say. I like the planting trees idea:)
I had a meeting with one of the girls, and now I don’t feel so drained about it. It’s coming along again… Alex is right, though, time to start thinking about what’s next!
Definitely do something different, girl. Maintaining websites is LAME. Take it from someone who’s been doing it for ten years. It’s not fun or fulfilling or anything of the sort. It’s a tedious time-sucking waste. Especially when doing it for free. At least if you get paid, it makes it REMOTELY tolerable. But volunteering to do it? Uh uh. No way. You’re an outdoorsy girl– you should be volunteering in outdoorsy ways like planting trees, like you said!