God Damn Fucking Ants

For years I have gone on and on about the little black ants that invade my kitchen every spring. Initially I thought I would die from the horror of it all, but over the years the ants and I have learned to live in peace – they stay out of my pantry and I don’t call the pest doctor.
Two days ago I noticed a lot of sugar ants had suddenly descended upon my kitchen, in their haphazard way. Yesterday they turned up in my pantry. Today I bleached the shit out of my kitchen.
They didn’t care, they’re back in the pantry.
While I may tolerate the little black ants, sugar ants don’t fall into that same category. The most important thing to note about the little black ant is that they’re little. Really freaking little, you could convince yourself it’s dirt or pepper. Right up until they move and you know what? Even then I can convince myself that the spec of dirt didn’t just move, I have an active imagination is all.
Sugar ants, though. oh, Sugar ants are anything but little. Sugar ants are very clearly a big-ass bug hauling it’s disgusting bug ass across the floor, or through the cupboard, or ACROSS THE LIP OF MY HONEY CONTAINER. THE HONEY I EAT.
Sugar ants needs to die.
Currently I have some borax ant traps going on, but seriously, I’m not sure I can wait three days to see if it works. I’m also extremely pissed off that I spent all day standing in my kitchen (which is a cement slab so my back? HURTS.) bleaching every food and garbage cupboard because the internet said, on a a gorgeous, sunny, hot day. A day when I should have taken my son to the beach instead of having him stand around eating cheezies and discussing ant habits, while I bleached.
FUCKING. ANTS.