God Damn Fucking Ants

For years I have gone on and on about the little black ants that invade my kitchen every spring. Initially I thought I would die from the horror of it all, but over the years the ants and I have learned to live in peace – they stay out of my pantry and I don’t call the pest doctor.
Two days ago I noticed a lot of sugar ants had suddenly descended upon my kitchen, in their haphazard way. Yesterday they turned up in my pantry. Today I bleached the shit out of my kitchen.
They didn’t care, they’re back in the pantry.
While I may tolerate the little black ants, sugar ants don’t fall into that same category. The most important thing to note about the little black ant is that they’re little. Really freaking little, you could convince yourself it’s dirt or pepper. Right up until they move and you know what? Even then I can convince myself that the spec of dirt didn’t just move, I have an active imagination is all.
Sugar ants, though. oh, Sugar ants are anything but little. Sugar ants are very clearly a big-ass bug hauling it’s disgusting bug ass across the floor, or through the cupboard, or ACROSS THE LIP OF MY HONEY CONTAINER. THE HONEY I EAT.
Sugar ants needs to die.
Currently I have some borax ant traps going on, but seriously, I’m not sure I can wait three days to see if it works. I’m also extremely pissed off that I spent all day standing in my kitchen (which is a cement slab so my back? HURTS.) bleaching every food and garbage cupboard because the internet said, on a a gorgeous, sunny, hot day. A day when I should have taken my son to the beach instead of having him stand around eating cheezies and discussing ant habits, while I bleached.
FUCKING. ANTS.

7 Responses to “God Damn Fucking Ants”

1. Mom says:

   July 26, 2009 at 9:13 am

   You bet, FA!!!!?#%> The ants at Morley Trail Estates (Ha Ha) were IN the honey pail. IN IT..
   and that was about 5lbs of honey. I was not about to throw it away either. Sooooo, I washed out the honey with hot water and doused the lid in boiling water and rinsed them all away. Resealed the lid and we ate the honey. Hmmmm. That probably was not an application for Wonderful Mother and Wife of the Year award. Oh well.
   The ant dust did eventually slow them down. Ant-B-Gon. I actually watched them march into the house from outside to eat the stuff, and carry it back to where they came from. At least the infestation in the house ended for a while. They are yuchy.
2. Cindy says:

   July 27, 2009 at 2:07 pm

   I just want to make sure I’ve got this right, you’re AGAINST the ants, right? Not on their side? You’re kind of wishy-washy about these here ants…. )
3. Amber says:

   July 27, 2009 at 3:28 pm

   hehehe
   If it wasn’t so hot, I’d update again just to force this negative post downwards – it’s just that ants… well… they really get to me. They’re so industrious, and plentiful, and IN MY PANTRY. God I hate that.
4. jaya says:

   July 29, 2009 at 12:46 pm

   Not sure if you’re still battling the ants, but we finally found some ant traps (Terro) that work in 24 hours or so (assuming you can handle seeing the ants for that long, because once they find these traps, you have an ant orgy going on). We haven’t seen ants since though, so they must have worked.
5. Amber says:

   July 30, 2009 at 9:18 am

   I’ve read that Terro is the best, but I haven’t been able to find it yet. Keeping my eyes open for it, so far the other traps, and bleach, or doing NOTHING.
6. Suzy says:

   August 1, 2009 at 10:14 pm

   Ugh, they are GROSS. I’ve found them all over my counters and it’s filled me with utter horror. Never, ever had them in San Francisco. Ant traps have controlled them so far, but..ugh. I feel your pain (and your gross-out.)
7. Candi says:

   August 3, 2009 at 5:33 pm

   “…big-ass bug hauling it’s disgusting bug ass across the floor…” bwahahahahaha!