Completely nonsensical and tangential post about school. Sort of.

Callum needs to go to school. I can’t believe I’m saying that because a huge, enormous, globe-sized part of me thinks it is completely and utterly ridiculous that 3-year olds go to school. Even pre-school with their crafts and games. HE’S THREE YEARS OLD. Three year olds color and watch Franklin, they do not go to school.
The reality is that I’ve never spent any quality time with a three year old and I was oh so very naive.
Technically he isn’t even three. And that little technical glitch is the sole reason why I did absolutely nothing about the whole preschool charade all summer. That and a little thing called potty training. I was convinced that there was no way in hell the kid would be potty trained by September and there was no way in hell I was going to turn myself inside out trying to make it happen and ruin my summer.
Color me an idiot because it appears that potty training? Nothing to do with me. One day Callum informed me he had to pee, and off to the potty we did go. For several weeks he was in underwear and while he would pee in the potty, that’s where that ended. And we all know there is a little more to this bathroom business than peeing.
Middle of August and we’re still not spending any quality time in the bathroom, if you know what I mean. I’m thinking that the quality time is a long time coming because I’ve heard the stories. I know how this rolls. Except in the middle of August there we were out camping and I had forgotten the potty and my little guy looks at me and announces “MAMA I NEED TO POO”.
Voila. Potty trained. I’d be giving myself some serious kudos here if, well, I had anything to do with it but I clearly didn’t. CLEARLY. You have never seen anyone as lazy as me when it came to the potty training. I’m talking a special kind of lazy. I’m talking I was thinking diapers until he was 4 seemed like less work than what I imagined went into potty training. I tried to talk Michelle into spending a month at my house and getting her to do it. My Mom was more consistent and proactive than I. This was my level of interest in this. We’re talking lazy, people. I be a very special kind of lazy.
September rolls around and I’m starting to realize that I erred when I didn’t make any effort to get Callum enrolled in preschool because man, I can’t keep him entertained. I’ve had friends say “well, with Claire you really can’t spend an hour painting with Callum” and I’m thinking an hour? AN HOUR? If an hour was all it took this wouldn’t be a problem. Callum already spends 2-4 hours EVERY DAY painting, cutting, gluing, sticking, rolling out playdoh, you name it. The kid paints little model trains on his own, and if I’d let him have the glue, he’d be attempting to glue them together too. Of course he wouldn’t glue them properly, but he’d spend 2 solid hours giving it a go.
He sits at the kitchen table and does all this without any input from me. Unfortunately, he is awake for 12 hours. It’s the remaining 8 hours that are driving me crazy.
A good mother would sit down and teach him the alphabet. That’s reasonable, I could do that, even enjoy doing that, but that would take what? 15 minutes a day? Then what? I do what I can to keep him entertained – daily field trips to the store, the farm, great-Grandma’s, the beach. We’ll be starting Kindermusik and swimming lessons. He’s doing skating in November. Even with all that there will still be hours where the kid is bored and a bored 3 year old? A level of annoying I never did experience before. No matter what I’m doing, he’s in my face. If I’m stitching, he’s demanding that he stitches too. If I’m cracking an egg to make myself breakfast he’s dragging a chair across the kitchen to crack an egg. For those remaining 8 hours, the kid is on my heels.
And the talking. Oh boy. The talking. It. Never. Stops. No one believes me because the minute someone new is around he doesn?t talk at all, but a few out there have experienced the talking and I know you?re nodding your heads vigorously right now and saying out loud ?oh god, THE TALKING?. This is so very Steve; another soul who people think never says a word most of the time, but those people? Well, those people have never had to sit through Steve attempting to download pictures off the digital camera and listen to the play-by-play. The other day he was setting up his new race watch which logs runs that you then download onto the computer and the second he plugged in that USB cable he started talking?
Now I have to research preschools and see if I can get the kid in and if you?ll recall, the lazy in me isn?t pleased and is clashing with the part of me that isn?t sure how much longer she can keep her son entertained. Who knew that you had to research preschools, anyway? Honestly.